Secrets Don't Lead to Healing: How Counseling in Colorado Springs Can Help Sexual Abuse Survivors Heal
Sexual abuse is a very real issue, and unfortunately it’s a very taboo topic within our society often kept behind closed doors. This can lead to survivors feeling the need to minimize or completely deny the traumatic events that took place. However, holding these secrets and feeling that societal shame puts survivors in a situation where they are unable to fully heal because they feel “stuck” in the trauma.
Through my experience as a Mental Health Counselor, I have learned the importance of addressing and processing the trauma which result from such a personal violation. I have worked for TESSA (a local domestic violence shelter), as well as a private practice with children, adolescents, early adulthood and late adulthood. It is important that we start acknowledging the realism of this issue, educating ourselves on the reality of the impacts of sexual abuse, and destigmatizing sexual abuse as a society by bringing awareness to it.
Secrets don't lead to healing. In treating the trauma, individuals can work to heal in a way that they never thought was possible.
So, what is considered sexual assault? It can be classified as any attempted or completed unwanted sexual act. This includes:
attempted rape
fondling
unwanted sexual contact or touching
coercion another with psychological force using threats and verbal abuse
forcing victim to perform sexual acts
rape: " unlawful sexual intercourse or penetration of the victim's body by body part or object"
Here are some important things to remember about consent:
A person can change their mind about sexual consent at ANY TIME
Consenting to one sexual act does not mean consenting to all further acts
Consent to past sexual acts is not consent for future acts
Consent is about communication
Minors are particularly vulnerable and the minimum age of consent in most states is 16
Individuals with developmental or intellectual disabilities may also not have the ability to give consent to sexual activity
Childhood sexual abuse is one of the most stigmatized forms of abuse in society. However, it is also VERY common issue, especially in women. In fact, 18-33% of women have experienced childhood sexual abuse, while only 12-18% of men experience childhood sexual abuse. Many people are unaware that they are even being sexually abused or exploited as a child, as this often is kept a secret or made to seem as though it is a form of love, or “grooming”. Grooming is a form of manipulation used to disarm victims and their families to trust them, rather than recognize them as an abuser.
Types of childhood sexual abuse include:
Exposing a child to sexual activity or sexual content either in person or online.
Incest
Producing, owning or distributing child pornography
Rape
Sex trafficking
Sexual assault ( includes intercourse, fondling, masturbation of ones self, or forcing a minor to masterbate)
Sexual harassment (messaging a minor with obscene content)
Sexual abuse can cause long-term effects both psychologically and physically, including:
Feelings of shame and guilt
Emotional outbursts
Extreme dislikes of certain places, people, sounds, situations
Vigilance
Anger
Difficulty establishing boundaries
Difficulty saying "no"
Fear of attachment or intimacy
Secrecy, and inability to open up
Increased attempted/completed suicide rates
Has also been shown to increase chances of anorexia, chronic pain, digestive issues, headaches, gynecological disorders, obesity or compulsive eating, sexual dysfunction.
Unfortunately, sexual abuse occurs frequently amongst all ages, races, and demographics—so we need to expose the secrets and stop hiding behind the shame. Together, we can work to sensitively navigate your path to healing and build a more confident and empowered you.