Is Marriage Counseling Worth the Effort?
Does marriage counseling work? You may wonder if it’s worth the effort, feeling hesitant to hope there’s a way to regain the closeness you once had. All too often, couples who come to counseling say “we’ve known we needed this for a long time.” In the height of disconnection, during arguments or long stints of silence, helplessness sets in and fears can emerge: Can couples counseling even help us?
The Importance of Strong Relationships
Your attachment and connection to others is not only important but necessary for optimal survival. Research shows that loneliness can double your risk of heart attack and stroke. Studies also show that emotional isolation presents a more dangerous health risk than smoking or high blood pressure.
Primal Panic: Fear of Disconnection
The fear we experience when we feel distant from a partner is very powerful. When we feel disconnected, primal alarm bells can go off in our brains, sometimes overriding our ability to think. We simply just feel…and react.
Oftentimes the reaction plays out in one of two ways. We may react by becoming demanding and clingy, in an effort to draw comfort and reassurance from our partner. Or we might react by withdrawing and detaching, in an attempt to soothe and protect ourselves or the relationship. Unfortunately, these unconscious, default reactions tend to push you both farther apart.
The real questions and needs lie hidden underneath all this distress. Can I count on you? Are you there for me? Do I matter to you? Notice me. Be with me. I need you.
It is no surprise that relationship distress is one of the most common reasons for seeking couples’ therapy, especially when we depend on our intimate partners more and more for support and connection.
Relationship Counseling Can Help?
So, in short, yes—couples counseling can help!
It’s important to recognize that other factors also contribute to getting the results you seek. For example, you increase your chances of success by finding the right therapist, attending therapy consistently, and giving your best efforts.
At Walls Counseling, we work with couples of all types, in all kinds of ages and stages of relationships. We’d be glad to help you in your love relationship.
Finding the Right Relationship Counselor
With almost two-thirds of therapists in the U.S. offering counseling for couples, it’s important to find a clinician with specific training in working with couples. At Walls Counseling we have clinicians with extensive experience working with couples and families, to include work on parenting, co-parenting, divorce, abuse, court issues, intimate partner violence, and addiction.
The first and most important task of any therapy is creating emotional safety. This becomes even more important in couples’ therapy—where there are two clients right in the middle of their struggles. To give the relationship the best chance at healing, it’s important to find a therapist who helps both you and your partner feel comfortable, heard, and understood. Our skilled counselors create a climate where openness, honesty, and exploration is encouraged.
What to Expect from Couples Counseling
To take away some of the mystery of how marriage counseling works, here is what you can expect.
Your therapist will work collaboratively with you, guiding you and your partner to experience new ways of being with one another. Your therapist will help you to identify and adjust your patterns, get in touch with your real needs, and communicate in heartfelt ways. The end goal is to help you turn to each other for the love, support, and partnership you long for.
Throughout the marriage counseling process, our therapists focus on:
Empathic Attunement: Connecting with you on a personal level.
Acceptance: Taking a non-judgmental stance.
Genuineness: Our therapists sincerely care about you. They stay accessible and responsive to your needs and concerns.
Staying Active: Your therapist will actively include both partners in the process.
Seeing the Big Picture: Your marriage counselor pays attention to your relationship needs in addition to each individual’s needs. This helps your counselor to facilitate more connection and better interactions between you.
You’re Not Alone. Seek Walls Counseling and Get Help Today.
With so much on the line, it makes sense to wonder about whether marriage counseling can work for you. When you get lost in the dance of disconnection, we can help you find hope that there’s another way. Marriage counseling can work! Here at Walls Counseling, we’re passionate about helping you and your partner find your way back to each other.
If you’re ready to begin healing your relationship, schedule an appointment today! It’s easy to get started, just click here to schedule an appointment.
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