Crying-Let It Out
As clinicians, we have the honor of holding space and sitting with others as they unpack strong emotions; joy, pain, fear. During these moments, sometimes tears come and sometimes they don’t, but more often than not, those beautiful big droplets are paired with an apology. Tears are not a defect. Tears are an outward expression signaling connection and human bonding.
However, crying doesn’t represent weakness, it represents vulnerability and when we show others that we are vulnerable, we are connecting, a basic human need.
What Does it Mean?
As a child, what were the messages you received when you cried? Were you rewarded, encouraged to stop, or perhaps even punished?
As a result of our experiences and social norms, we may have internalized crying as bad, weak, and an inconvenience to the other person listening or witnessing because they have to “handle” our emotions. The reality is crying allows for connection. It is a visual signal to others that we need support.
As humans, we work furiously to maintain our image. We want to position ourselves as controlled, together, strong and happy individuals. Allowing our more difficult parts to be seen can feel extremely uncomfortable. However, crying doesn’t represent weakness, it represents vulnerability and when we show others that we are vulnerable, we are connecting, a basic human need.
According to an article written by Medical News Today and research conducted by Medical News Journal, in the United States, women cry an average of 3.5 times per month and men cry an average of 1.9 times a month and humans are the only animals to cry emotional tears. More, tears associated with emotion are actually composed of higher levels of stress hormones than other types of tears and activate the (parasympathetic nervous system) which is responsible for calming us down.
Additional research has found that in addition to being self-soothing, shedding emotional tears releases oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals make people feel good and may also ease both physical and emotional pain. In this way, crying can help reduce pain and promote a sense of well-being.
The Glow
Rosy cheeks, clear eyes, full lips-We have all seen the glow that can occur after a good cleansing cry. Emotional tears contain stress hormones that are secreted from the body and these tears are a natural detox that purges repressed emotions and stress, making us feel better.
So next time that lump moves up your throat and your eyes widen, lean into it, lean way into it because even when a problem persists, crying can make us feel physically and emotionally better.
Therapy allows tears with no added pressures.
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